My U.A.

This happened about 2 months ago, and I can't believe I forgot about it until now (Thanks Tierra). So I get hired on as a receptionist at a really nice law firm. One of the conditions of going from being a temp to completely hired was that I take a drug test and it comes back clean. So begins our adventure. I drive to the local health department and walk in the lobby. With a name like "the health department" you would think the conditions wouldn't make you feel itchy, would you? hm... that's weird. So here I sit, well, really kind of squat above my chair, while they process my papers at about two miles an hour. Looking around, I feel slightly out of place. I might be the only one who doesn't have a sample of someone elses urine in a ziplock stuffed down their pants. Finally it's my turn. I'm escorted by a woman who is the size of a twelve year old to the "bathroom", which is more like a broom closet with a toilet. As the door clicks shut ominously behind her, I smell the cheese curds she horked down earlier on her breath as she says, "Have you ever had an observed U.A.?" ... A what? Observed did she say? This is when I notice the mirrors placed strategically around the toilet for maximum viewing pleasure, the fridge standing in the corner, waiting to welcome my bodily fluid into it's cold embrace, and the observer/child snapping on a pair of latex gloves. I don't think I was really planning on this today. I wish this was the point where it got interesting, but actually what happened was that I said, "I'm not really comfortable with you watching me pee." The woman-child left to talk to the front desk and returned to tell me I would be ok going potty on my own like a big girl. The ending is pretty anti-climactic, but at least I don't feel violated... from this experience. The End.